The Silver Lining - Yankees 10, Jays 5

I'm assuming you want more than the unintentional comedy of Toronto automatically turning A-Rod into a cop groping, Brass Rail living sex fiend. Well okay then, let me dig deep into my well of self-delusion and see what I come up with.

It wasn't fun at the Rogers Centre last night. 2-5 in the Yankees order all reached base at least 3 times. Damaso Marte managed to hold us off the score sheet for an inning. Ricky Romero continued his late season decline. And Jason Frasor evidently wanted us to feel the pain a little longer.

But call me the innovator of ignorance, because I've got your rose colored glasses view right here. Raul Chavez had 2 doubles, 3 hits and 2 RBI's on the night. He's hitting .308 since August 1st. I was going to include the Great White Hope Travis Snider on here for his 2 for 3 night with a double, but considering he was feeling generous and handed the pinstripes 2 runs in the first he gets the cold shoulder.

What else?

Lyle Overbay - A lot of people are going to remember the 8th last night for a pair of nice ranging plays Aaron Hill made on grounders that had eyes for the hole. What they probably won't make mention of is the pair of nice scoops Lyle Overbay made on the throws that were in the dirt. May not be nearly as flashy, but it's better being Aaron Hill when you've got a great first baseman like Lyle.

Brandon League & Shawn Camp - Hey look, League pitched into a second inning and didn't get bombed! And Camp continues to be Mr Reliable!

DRAFT! - We're Number 8! We're Number 8! And just a game out of picking 5th! More draft picks not to sign!

Is it too early to start drinking?

Supplemental Reading

It's Thursday, I'm headed to work and completely unmotivated for value added content. So I figured, why not let others do my work for me? Here's a couple gems full of the kind of fury and bitterness that make me proud to be an asshole:

DeadThingsOnSticks breaks down the 25th anniversary of Much Music, and examines exactly why such a big cultural event has been played down thus far.

Dustin Parkes at Drunk Jays Fans has an interesting take on what the Jays should do in the offseason (hint, it doesn't involve wasting a ton of cash on Jason Bay).

DownGoesBrown has the inside scoop on Paul Kelly's firing by the NHLPA.

Honey Garlic thinks I hate his partisanship. I do not. What I definitely like though is his advice for everyone involved in this theoretical upcoming election. Except for the jab at the NDP. Shameless partisanship.

Andrew Coyne is sharp as always in his round-up of the showdown inside the Queensway.

Tonight the Jays send Ricky Romero (11-6, 3.95 ERA) to the hill against Chad Gaudin (5-10, 4.90). Romero has an ERA of 5.03 since the beginning of August, while Gaudin has an ERA of 5.02 as a starter this year. Are you ready for a pitcher's duel?

The Silver Lining - Rangers 6, Jays 4

Dear Red Sox,

Suck it.

Sincerely,
The Toronto Blue Jays

Isn't that enough for you? Rangers win, Red Sox lose and their wildcard lead shrinks to a mere 2 games? Oh, you say you're not a petty, resentful, long-suffering Jays fan. I'll have to try harder then.

Just so we remember why we need this sunny side up bit of self-delusion, today was pretty depressing. The Jays give away another early lead, putting up a mere 1 run in the final 5 innings of the game. Scott Richmond struggled again, giving up 5 earned runs over 5 innings, 2 home runs and 4 walks. All 5 hits coming from 3 players. And at the end of the day, the Jays followed up a 3-6 homestand with a 1-6 road trip. Are you shaking in your boots, Yankees?

It wasn't all bad though. Adam Lind. Obviously. Eternally, Adam Lind. Lyle Overbay took a Tommy Hunter fast ball out of the park, going 2 for 4 on the night and finishing up the road trip with a .348 batting average. Randy Ruiz was appearing in only his 3rd game of the trip but he made an impact, taking Hunter deep in the 4th to cap off a 2 for 4 night. He now has 5 big flys in only 17 games.

On the mound, it wasn't all bad. Jesse Carlson, after having had his streak of 7 scoreless appearances ended on Monday, was able to pitch pretty well in relief of Scott Richmond. He came in with men on first and second with no out and got a grounder which could have been a double play but ended up being just a fielders choice off of Marco Scutaro's error and David Murphy was able to score. Carlson stayed calm, striking out Chris Davis and getting Julio Borbon to fly out to centre. Since August 16th Jesse Carlson has an ERA of 1.13 with 11 strikeouts and a BAA of 0.172.

And how about the GPMODOAT (Greatest Prime Minister of Defense of All-Time)? With runners at the corners, Chris Davis sliced a grounder which might have been through the whole... had Johnny Mac not been playing today. Prime Minister McDonald, not wanting the Jays faithful to dwell on the loss of the GBOAT, made an outstanding diving stop, then with quick wrist action got the ball over to Aaron Hill, who made an even quicker turn to get the ball to first and save Brian "Better than Accardo" Wolfe from a run. So the boys got it done with the bat, the glove and on the mound today. Just, y'know, not enough of the boys.

Tomorrow the Jays start an 8 game homestand with the Yankees and Twins coming to town. The Yankees will be here Thursday through Sunday, and then the Twins will be here Labour Day through Thursday. Get your tickets now, because we all know how busy those post-labour day games get.

The New NDP Slogan - Where Have I Heard This Before?

So I just got an e-mail from the NDP. Having been rebuffed in their advances in a total "I'm not nearly drunk enough to go for that moustache" way by an oh so coy Conservative Party, the NDP seems primed for an election campaign. They don't trust Michael Ignatieff, and want you to help them bring about Change in Canada. But not just any change will do. What would they go with? Positive Change? Real Change? Loose Change?



Right. That sounds like some great change. And really that's the kind of change I want. If I'm looking to change things up, I don't want it to be something ridiculous. Don't tell me you're going to make renewable fuel out of John Baird's toxic fumes, invent a translator so dogs can talk or make Edwin Encarnacion into a serviceable third baseman; give me something actually possible.

But it's strange, I'm getting a feeling of deja vu. Maybe I'm just going crazy, but I think I've heard this one before. But I'm sure I'm just confusing it with something else. After all, what party would base their platform around trying to shamelessly cash in on someone else's electoral success?



I swear to God, if Jack Layton didn't have handlers he'd already be out on the trail in blackface.

Tories Don't Want Election, Don't Want To Prevent One Either

Just think, for a minute it seemed like the Election Fever Epidemic was going to pass us over. The NDP made it clear that they were willing to prop up the government so long as they agreed to take decisive action on pensions and take steps to slash bank and credit card fees. You know, the kind of protections governments should be undertaking during a recession. And obviously the Tories, having been in a minority government for almost 4 years, are now experienced in brokerage and deal making with opposition parties and willing to make concessions to avoid what Transport Minister John Baird describes as an "unuseful election".

Except apparently they aren't. Minister for Citizenship, Immigration and Multiculturalism and pug-shaped man Jason Kenney indicated his party's unwillingness to make concessions to the NDP in order to prop up his government:

“Look. We've always tried to demonstrate willingness to co-operate with the opposition parties. We did in the last budget. But we're not for sale to the highest bidder, least of all the NDP.”

Translation: "Look. We've always tried to demonstrate a willingness to intimidate and coerce the opposition parties into abstaining from crucial votes or simply bending over backwards to support us, which was demonstrated by the fact that a coalition had to threaten to take the government away from us if we didn't change the last budget. But since that won't work this time, we're not going to start doing earnest negotiations with the opposition, even if it means fighting an election we want you to believe we really don't want to fight."

So there you have it, the pug has spoken. Just remember when the Tories start bemoaning the Liberals insistence on forcing you back to the polls that they had a chance to stop this. Like I said yesterday, fuck 'em.

Do you think Obama would be interested in governing another 30 million or so?

The Silver Lining - Rangers 5, Jays 2 (twice!)

For the second straight day, Jays pitching gave up 10 runs. In fairness, unlike yesterday those runs came over two games, but it still resulted in twin losses. Twin 5-2 losses in fact, further cementing the fact that the Gods of Baseball hate Toronto's fucking guts. I watched the final two episodes of the third season of Dexter earlier this evening, and the bloodletting in that fine program paled in comparison to the Jays in August. September isn't starting out any different. Whether it be Josh Hamilton taking his face out of some drunk chick's tits long enough to hit TWO jacks, or the sudden philanthropic streak Jays pitchers took on in making Crash Davis look like less of a disaster this year, Monday's drunken ecstasy has made way for Tuesday's crippling hangover.

But there were a few little joy nuggets for those looking for an excuse to put the razor blade down. Adam Lind. Like I said yesterday, Adam Lind. Joe Inglett went 2 for 2 with a walk, a pace we can certainly expect him to keep up for the rest of the season. The patron saint of Garfooses everywhere, Dirk Hayhurst continues to be the little non-prospect that could. He pitched another inning of low-leverage relief, bringing his ERA down to 1.53. And, most importantly, the chops have returned!

Right, as you were with the razor. I personally recommend x's and o's. Who said self harm couldn't be fun for the whole family?

Man Your War Rooms!

So first, the story. Then the rebuttal.

Do you have it? Election fever? We seem to be getting it a lot these days. In fact, we seem to be getting annual cases of election fever with such regularity that they ought to be researching a vaccine. So Canadians could be headed to the polls as soon as this fall. It would be the 4th election since June of 2004.

Transportation Minister John Baird (who, holding the oh-so-important role of making sure everyone gets their license plate stickers replaced, is totally qualified to speak for the government) is nonplussed.

"Michael Ignatieff has indicated that he wants to plunge Canadians into the fourth election in five years... believes we should head to an unuseful, early election."

Right. Because it's not like the Tories would ever call a premature election. Except for when they pulled the plug on the 39th parliament after only 29 months and scheduled an election to happen conveniently before the recession would become a major issue. Right after they passed a law saying that it would be illegal for the government to do that. It also came conveniently at a time the Liberals were heavy in debt from their last leadership race and unable to match the media blitz. And I guess there was the 38th parliament, which they defeated via non-confidence motion after only 13 months, after having tried and failed to defeat the government 6 months prior on a budget vote (which, if you're keeping count at home, would mean they wished to force Canadians into an election 7 months into the session, which would be about 4 months quicker than the Liberals are now attempting). Never mind the fact that the last two elections were either called by a Conservative Prime Minister or triggered by predominantly Conservative votes, because this is a game of partisanship only the Liberals play.

There are plenty of issues on the table right now that are worthy of our attention via an electoral campaign. The recession, and the stimulus required to jump start the Canadian economy. The future of our Afghan mission, which both major leaders support but have vast differences of opinion about how to make it a success. The environment, which has been ignored on the election trail for years, and was only discussed last time in order to tar Stephane Dion to the lunatic fringe. And of course, how giving the Toronto Blue Jays an extra $100 million in taxpayers money every year could give Canadians something to be truly proud of in these trying times. One of those is a joke. Seriously, nobody gives a fuck about the environment.

Don't get me wrong, I know that the political opportunism is at play on both sides here. The things that are issues right now were issues in the summer, and in the spring. Hell, the discussion of stimulus spending is so imperative that it really should have been had 9 months ago. But the reason we might be going to the polls has little to do with the issues and more to do with the reason for the last 3 election calls: because the party making the call thinks they can win. The Liberals find themselves in a pretty sweet position right now. They've got a fresh leader, an economy in needing of leadership and, most important of all, a shit-ton of money. For the first time in a while the Liberals were able to out-fundraise the Conservative over the second quarter of this year, and are much better prepared for an election now than they were a year ago. You want to tar our guy as a "just visiting" cosmopolitan? Fine. We'll tar your guy as a lunatic right wing remnant of the Bush era. Who cares about the issues, this is politics.

And here comes the fury. We've got three major, decisive issues facing our country and have avoided talking seriously about them thus far. We've had a major political shift in our neighbours to the south, and haven't had the chance to re-assess our relationship with them yet. And we have new possibilities with the economy having bottomed out for Canada to emerge from this crisis a global leader. And will we talk about that? Of course not. We'll spend the first few weeks passing blame about why we're having this election, and then the rest arguing about tiny inconsequential wedge issues that skew well for the party bringing them up. Because that is what our political system has become over the past 16 years or so. Makes sense, because our leaders are definitely acting like teenagers.

Fuck 'em.

Hayhurst, Wolfe and Inglett Recalled From Las Vegas

Unfortunately, I guess this means Jeremy Accardo won't be on the playoff roster. Seriously though, what is up Magic Cito's ass about this guy? Maybe his attitude leaves something to be desired, but he's still way more effective than Bryan Wolfe.