Animals Are Starting To Get Awesome

First Sir Nils Olav the Penguin Knight, then Spaghetti Cat, now Punk Rock Turtle? What are we doing to keep up? Nothing, nothing at all. I fear for humanity.

Shit

Alright so before I go to work, a moment of shear panic. Shaun Marcum left Wednesday's 2-0 stinker loss to the Orioles in the second inning with an elbow injury. Today he flies to Alabama to see Dr. James Andrews. According to the Globe, the Jays expect Andrews to confirm the worst case scenario: Marcum needs Tommy John surgery. Such an injury would basically count Marcum out for not only the rest of this season but probably all of the next. With McGowan out until at least May (and who knows how he'll throw when he returns from a shoulder injury), this would leave a Burnettless Jays with a starting rotation of Halladay-Litsch and three players to be named later. The logical next step is for J.P. to fall on his sword and throw some of that fat-cash at A.J., but what does that mean for the offense next year? If we're throwing 20 million at Burnett, you can kiss getting a top DH goodbye without any further investment from uncle Ted. We're basically going to need Travis Snider to put up ROTY numbers in 2009 to make up for that. So in an ideal scenario, Travis hits 20 jacks while batting around .300, Burnett takes our DH money and manages to not spend half of 2009 on the DL and David Purcey can hold down the fort with some other acquisition (Pedro?) until McGowan can return to the team and to form. Fuck, the season is more than 5 months away and we're still betting on a bunch of ifs.

Who says this is an election about nothing?

Definitely not me. But if one were to gauge their opinion on CTV's particular coverage, today's front page headline might give them pause.



DAMN! I always knew that the Harperbot's voter army consisted mainly of WASPs, but I had no idea he could mobilize them so effectively! Harikari!

The Nerdy Glasses Are Off!

It's about time. Maybe they decided to borrow some of Hilary Clinton's balls.

Scotty Goes Down, As Do the Jays

Well isn't that a kick in the face? Just days after Blue Jay-mania swept the nation to the point where TSN recorded 8 year ratings highs for a Jays game, it appears the dream is over. Having dropped 2 of the opening 3 games of this final trip to Fenway Park, the boys find themselves 7.5 out of the playoffs with only 13 games to play. The extreme rose coloured glass, glass half-full, drink all that Rogers Kool-Aid from the glass view of the current situation is that they take the remaining 4 games against the Bo-Sox, then somehow make up 3.5 games in the final 9. Possible? I guess. Likely? Even less than a Stephane Dion majority.

I'm not looking forward to Jays Talk.

It Could Happen...

Shut up. So maybe David Purcey didn't repeat his Sunday performance of making opposing hitters look like a co-ed beer league slo-pitch team. Maybe the Jays historical inability to hit knucklers didn't magically vanish with the appearance of a September hot-streak. And maybe we don't find hourselves 5.5 games back, ready to pounce and take over the Wild Card with a 7 game late-season sweep in the home and home. We're still alive, goddammit. And the evidence is in the Jays 8-1 shitkicking of Paul Byrd and his band of Merry Massholes. All is squared in the most important series of the year, now we need to take the next two.

How about St. Travis? As far as late season callups go, it is true that Adam Lind lit the Jays up in September of 2006 with a batting average of .367, only to find himself dwelling in Syracuse in 2007. It's also true that pushing this kid as the second coming of Delgado with all of 11 games under his belt is about as well-thought out a decision as 4 million a year to Jason Blake after his one good year. But Lind hit well against mainly middling-to-bad teams; Snider has lit up the Yankees, the Twins, the White Sox and now the Red Sox. He hasn't faced any sub-.500 competition yet. His home run was a no-doubter, the double was clutch and he's finding himself contributing in real ways to this late-season run.

So tonight, with the season remaining on the line, Jesse Litsch takes the mound against Bartolo "Used to be worth Grady Sizemore and Cliff Lee" Colon. Jays have put up numbers against Colon similar to their numbers against Wakefield. Then again, Tim Wakefield hasn't been quite so much of a steaming pile of shit the last three years. Meanwhile Jesse Litsch has continued to dominate hitters since returning from Syracuse, posting a 1.26 ERA with a .209 BA in 5 starts. If we had to stake our playoff hopes on anyone's recent performances, I can't think of anyone better than our favourite batboy.

Mother Nature Is A Fucking Asshole

Holy fucking shit. It's bad enough that we had the rain delay in Boston two weeks ago, locking in a Jays road trip of 8 games in 7 days while the Red Sox had the Thursday off. It's bad enough that the opener in Chi-Town was similarly rained out, so we were looking at 8 in 6. But to take away my Friday baseball? Fuck off, weather patterns. Fuck off, Hurricane season. And most importantly fuck off Jays Talk callers for making me want to tear my hair out during the delay.

So where do we go from here? If we stick with Purcey on the hill tomorrow, we face the ominous possibility of either the notoriously inconsistent rookie on 3 days rest or turning to one of Scott Richmond or John Parrish. On the other hand, we could keep Burnett on Saturday, hold Purcey back to Monday and gamble on short-rest throwing Burnett three starts in a row. Either way, not ideal.

Update: And just as I post this, the rain delay has essentially ended. Purcey-Crisis Averted! Fuck 'em up, boys!

Dogs and Polls, You Know the Drill

The latest polls from Harris/Decima and Angus Reid:
H/D - CPC - 41, Lib - 26, NDP - 14
AR - CPC -38, Lib -24, NDP - 21

So two polls, one with a margin of error of 2.6%, another with a margin of error of 3.1%. So why is the difference in NDP support 7%? That's why there's only one poll that counts, and despite the media spin on how Harperbot is "within majority territory", there's still a lot of election to come. And if the Conservative Party's latest gaffes are any indication, this is anything but over.

Meaningful Baseball!

So it's that time of year again, according to the Toronto sports media, where the Blue Jays make a completely inconsequential run after they've been logically eliminated and the pressure has been taken off. Never mind the fact that they've been hot since July, or that our recent win streak has come at the hands of some of baseball's best, because why evaluate a team based on their merits when you can boil everything down to historical comparison?

Believe me, I'm not trying to be a pusher for the hope bandwagon. I'd basically written this team out of the playoffs after the guys dropped 2 of 3 to the Angels on the road and were 14 games out of the division. They're now 6.5 games out of the playoffs, and the cynical prick inside me says that 6.5 games made up with 16 remaining in the season is a lot to hope for. And it is. But I can't help but think that on this particular occasion, there are reasons to hope.

Consider our opposition for the remainder of the year. 7 games come against the Boston Red Sox, the team we need to catch in order to make the playoffs. We find ourselves within reach of that team with a 7 game sweep. We've won 11 of our last 12 games, and since July 8th we're 37-20. This isn't just some inconsequential late season run, they've been hot since before the All-Star break. In addition to the Bo-Sox series, we've got 6 games against the Orioles and a 3 game set with the Yankees, teams we're 8-4 and 8-7 against respectively. The Rex Sox meanwhile have 7 games against the Blue Jays (4-7 against us), 3 against the Rays (7-8), 3 against the Yankees (8-7) and 4 against the Indians (2-0). What that record against the Indians doesn't indicate however is that the Tribe has a record against the AL East of 19-12. The Sox have it tough. We have our ducks lined up in a row. This is doable.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not out here trying to be that guy who screams PLAYOFFS! every time we manage to pull off a win (not without a sense of irony, at least). The chances of our being able to pull off 5 or 6 of these final games against the Red Sox and then make up the remaining games to earn ourselves a playoff spot are not great. But for all the people who've bitched about our lack of meaningful games in September, it's time to stop bitching. Meaningful baseball is here. This is the most important series of the season. Bandwagon jumpers: it's time to hop on.

A Whole New Level Of Strategic Voting

Facebook group provides vote swap in federal election

In summary, a Facebook group has popped up that allows voters to strategically swap votes with the aim of allowing people to have their conscience vote counted without effectively electing Conservatives. It's an interesting way of skirting around our broken "first past the post" system, and anything that keeps the Harperbot out of majority territory is fine with me. So who's gonna throw down an NDP vote to get me to support Michael Ignatieff?

A Question About the Kanyairportgate

So Kanye West was arrested this morning at LAX for "felony vandalism", a charge the result of his scuffle with two "journalists" from online gossip rag TMZ. Mr. West and his assistant were en route to boarding a flight to Honolulu when they were confronted by a number of paparazzi. Angered, the two forcefully removed the camera of a photographer and smashed it. After a verbal confrontation, West and his assistant were arrested.

Kanye West will be held to account for his actions, right or wrong. Continuing to remain unaccountable however is TMZ, its entire staff and its parent company Time Warner. It's entirely fair to assume that in the evidence of paparazzi, this situation would not have occurred. By virtue of that, it could be argued that this supposed "news" website, which by definition should exist solely to report on the news, is in fact making the news. Meanwhile TMZ's sister companies like CNN and People Magazine reap the benefit of the scuffle, posting a number of news articles for which they reap significant ad-benefits.

My question is this: how can the Governor of California, or the mayor of Los Angeles for that matter, expect the market to regulate itself with regards to paparazzi crossing the line when their very crossing of the line has an immediate and positive impact on the mainstream media's bottom line? Isn't it time to pass laws to indicate that paparazzi stalking, as it would be called anywhere outside of California, is every bit as criminal as the smashing of a camera?

Allow me to introduce myself...

I watch TV. I listen to music. I keep abreast on politics. And I have opinions!

So basically, I'm like every other blogger.

So the question is, why should you bother reading anything I have to say? The odds of you encountering anything here you can't read anywhere else are about as good as the odds of me sticking with this site more than 3 months. I've also recently found that being more than a year removed from school has vastly reduced my vocabulary, and that even that is undercut by questionable spelling and grammar. And what was once a idealistic, whimsical young man has been replaced by a cynical, angry old prick. Those all sound like reasons for hitting the back button on your browser and going back to surfing Digg for fact-checked Sarah Palin speeches or refreshing Pitchfork ad-nausea for news on the next My Morning Jacket album. But allow me to present my defense:

The blog title is fucking awesome.

Seriously. "Are you Comfortable and Angry, Pierre?" "Comfortable and Furious, Conan." I can hardly contain my bafflement at the startling realisation that this outdated "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" catchphrase remained available to be swept up by yours truly. I went through bunch of stupid ideas, some taken like "Too Much TV", "Outside Looking In" and yes, "Cherniak on Politics", as well as some that were just stupid like "The Four and a Halfth Estate" and "Sober Jays Fans". A friend recommended "The League of Extraordinary Rex Murphys", but I felt that bringing to mind the image of that horrifying spectre was simply irresponsible in these trying times. Hence, I did what any college age male would do. I stole from a late night talk show.

So there you have it, the genesis of "Comfortable and Furious". Well, that and I look at the mouth-breathers that do most of the world's blogging and can't help but feel that with a little dedication I could firmly plant myself in the middle of the pack. I have goals in mind, and that is certainly one of them. But most of all, I'm glad to be back to blogging, and look forward to being inundated with anonymous commenters that tell me I have "A great site!" and then proceeding to link me to some penis enlargement website. That's great for the self-esteem.